Confusion
So, why am I so confused lately? that's a very good question. So here's the long version of everything.
Alrighty, there's been lots of things thats been happening in the past month and so. Things just confuse me about me and her. One time it feels as if we're close, the next, we're far appart. I don't know which one is the right decision. And we have different ideas on what's going on. It's like we're not on the same page and instead we're in different books. I really don't know what's going on with her. I don't really want to know about her and him which is why i'm so lost. I don't want to get involved because I know it will just make me angry. So, I just keep my distance from that subject as much as I can.
Well, i'll just say my whole long story.
First off, after the break up, I did still love her, but in my mind I knew things wouldn't go back to the way things were. I tried twice to see if we could get back together, but those attempts didn't work. So I started to give up. Tried to move on and such. It was slowly working, regardless of the phone calls. We still kept in contact, and just talked about our day and stuff. I mainly let her talk because I had nothing much to say after I had talked about my day. I didn't dare ask how she was doing with him and things. Even if they were goin through rough times or good times. I've only talked about that once with her. I find it just too awkward.
Well, after a while, I had my mind set up on moving on, but I still felt like being with her, I was missing her and everything. But one night, I saw a picture that totally killed me. I've only told one person about it. The person tried to reassure me of somethings, and it helped, but only a little compared to what i felt when i saw it. After that, I totally figured that it was best to just move on, and not let these things hurt me anymore.
Things just got weirder after that. She still bought me things, and wrote me notes and everything. Kinda confused me at first because I was thinking why would she get me this? I know I said I wanted to try the drink, but why go through the trouble in buying it for me? I thought about it, and I had concluded that she was just being nice, and got it for me.
Then there was my birthday present she had gotten me. This confused me even more because of the letter she wrote me along with the present. In my mind, the note was telling me that there's still hope for us. And after like a day or two of thinking, I decided to talk to her about it. So I called her and asked if she was doing nething that night. She wasn't so I decided to ask her to come out. I was doing some stuff, and I was going to meet up with a bunch of friends who she was with before. When I got there, she wasn't there. Kinda odd, so I thought she just went home or whatever. I gave her a call after some time. When I was talkin to her, I found out she was with him. That confused me even more. Like why the hope and then go see him? I was quite mad so when we left to go meet up with other people, I totally went 100 down kennedy. I was weaving and everything. I don't know what I woulda done if I didn't have a car.
After a while i went to go get her and brought her to where we were. Then a couple hours pass, and we were cold so we decided to go into my car. We went and we started talking. What she had to say, confused me more. But she did mention how she was still deciding and stuff. She also told me that there was an actual reason now for why she is with him. She wouldn't tell me what tho, just yet.
Iunno, there's just too many things that are confusing. I don't know if she wants to get back together or not. I know she still cares about me, but it also confuses me that she'd be jealous of someone else that I hang around with and talk to. I really don't know how to handle this situation anymore. Too much confusion in this mind. I can't really figure things out unless i know where she stands in all this. I'm stuck between two paths, my heart, or my head. Which to choose? I don't know. I did want to choose my heart, but it hurts, and now i'm leaning towards my head.
Any suggestions?
Alrighty, there's been lots of things thats been happening in the past month and so. Things just confuse me about me and her. One time it feels as if we're close, the next, we're far appart. I don't know which one is the right decision. And we have different ideas on what's going on. It's like we're not on the same page and instead we're in different books. I really don't know what's going on with her. I don't really want to know about her and him which is why i'm so lost. I don't want to get involved because I know it will just make me angry. So, I just keep my distance from that subject as much as I can.
Well, i'll just say my whole long story.
First off, after the break up, I did still love her, but in my mind I knew things wouldn't go back to the way things were. I tried twice to see if we could get back together, but those attempts didn't work. So I started to give up. Tried to move on and such. It was slowly working, regardless of the phone calls. We still kept in contact, and just talked about our day and stuff. I mainly let her talk because I had nothing much to say after I had talked about my day. I didn't dare ask how she was doing with him and things. Even if they were goin through rough times or good times. I've only talked about that once with her. I find it just too awkward.
Well, after a while, I had my mind set up on moving on, but I still felt like being with her, I was missing her and everything. But one night, I saw a picture that totally killed me. I've only told one person about it. The person tried to reassure me of somethings, and it helped, but only a little compared to what i felt when i saw it. After that, I totally figured that it was best to just move on, and not let these things hurt me anymore.
Things just got weirder after that. She still bought me things, and wrote me notes and everything. Kinda confused me at first because I was thinking why would she get me this? I know I said I wanted to try the drink, but why go through the trouble in buying it for me? I thought about it, and I had concluded that she was just being nice, and got it for me.
Then there was my birthday present she had gotten me. This confused me even more because of the letter she wrote me along with the present. In my mind, the note was telling me that there's still hope for us. And after like a day or two of thinking, I decided to talk to her about it. So I called her and asked if she was doing nething that night. She wasn't so I decided to ask her to come out. I was doing some stuff, and I was going to meet up with a bunch of friends who she was with before. When I got there, she wasn't there. Kinda odd, so I thought she just went home or whatever. I gave her a call after some time. When I was talkin to her, I found out she was with him. That confused me even more. Like why the hope and then go see him? I was quite mad so when we left to go meet up with other people, I totally went 100 down kennedy. I was weaving and everything. I don't know what I woulda done if I didn't have a car.
After a while i went to go get her and brought her to where we were. Then a couple hours pass, and we were cold so we decided to go into my car. We went and we started talking. What she had to say, confused me more. But she did mention how she was still deciding and stuff. She also told me that there was an actual reason now for why she is with him. She wouldn't tell me what tho, just yet.
Iunno, there's just too many things that are confusing. I don't know if she wants to get back together or not. I know she still cares about me, but it also confuses me that she'd be jealous of someone else that I hang around with and talk to. I really don't know how to handle this situation anymore. Too much confusion in this mind. I can't really figure things out unless i know where she stands in all this. I'm stuck between two paths, my heart, or my head. Which to choose? I don't know. I did want to choose my heart, but it hurts, and now i'm leaning towards my head.
Any suggestions?
posted by Hang-Time at 1:32 PM
1 Comments:
I say follow your heart 'cause you can't regret. Your heart knwos you best, but then if it hurts then don't try. 'cause I can't bare to see you get hurt...again. Do what you think is best. And others will work their ways around you. Don't stress yourself =)
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