Man o man, will thoughts ever leave my mind? ok lemme rephrase. Will thoughts of these events every leave my mind? It's been a year and a half and things just keep comming back. The hatred, the love, the anguish. Everything just rushes back all at once sometimes at the most randomest times. It's 2:30 in the morning on Christmas day, and I cannot sleep for I am just thinking.

People come and go, Beef remains, but you are who you are. Be who you are. Before I would think "ohh just live your life, and let things just fall into place" Unfortunatly that isn't what happens. Sure there's some truth in it, but you gotta make a move to get anywhere. I feel like i'm just standing still, waiting for something to happen to me (good/bad).

Honestly, straight up, I hate myself. I hate how i'm so shy. I hate how sometimes if i wanted to, I over-analyze things. I hate how i'm so god damn nice. Maybe the last one isn't that valid, but sometimes it feels like a curse being me. People using me, walking all over me, trash talking me. Normally I don't give two fucks but seriously, a man can only take so much y'know. Once you pass that limit, everything changes. The end result is something much worse. Most likely it will end up with me doing something very irrational and stupid and it won't be pretty... I can guarentee that.

Exam time soon

Well, it's that time again. Exams approach and everyone scrambling to study and do this and that. I'm guilty of mostly one. I'm scrammbling to finish off this final assignment due in 24 hours. I'm not really scrambling to study and all that. I have no idea why. I should be scared because i'm pretty lost in most of my courses. I know generally what's going on and stuff but not fine details.

For my exam comming up on saturday, I'm pretty prepared. Since the final assignment that's due in 24 hours is about it. And plus it's programming.. It's not EXTREMELY hard. Just gotta know what you're doing. Hopefully I do better on this assignment than the previous one.

Next one is on Tuesday. That one i'm okay with but not the greatest. I'm definitely sure there is room for improvements.

Wednesday one is a different story...THAT one i have absolutely positively have NO friggin clue what's going on in that class. I have NOT been paying attention in class because I have NO idea what the fuck this guy is talking about. He is a veyr bad prof who just reads from the slides.

Last on is Friday. Now this one will probably be the worst exam i've ever written in my life. Just because it's economics and I have no fucking clue what to expect from her. Well I do know what to expect from her and i'm scared as fuck. She expects waaaaay too much from students. She thinks that every student is an economics SPECIALIST. her questions are so hard that even a UoT Econ Specialist couldn't even understand. Imagine poor us just TRYING to comprehend.

Once all that's done... BOOZE ALL AROUND! =D